Ever hear the old phrase “If you don’t ask, you don’t get”?    Well, its true.  Last week you were tasked with asking one person for what you wanted.  Did you do that?  Did you think about doing that?  Did you come up with excuses like I didn’t want anything or I couldn’t find a person to ask?

If you did, that is called PROCRASTINATION.  Everyone would agree that asking is a very good idea and have some belief in that there is a benefit in at least asking.  Yes, for some it is very hard to do.  Obviously we learned last week it is harder for women to ask.  However, what if women followed men’s lead and assumed that asking was creating good relationships.  Asking assumed that it was a welcome part of the relationship because there would be mutual giving on the other side.  Would this make it easier for women to ask?

staircase stair Women and some men, may also feel like they have to “give” something first in order to ask.  Some ways this is a good idea to always be trying to find things of value for other people.  Zig Ziegler said something like ” If you find other people enough work, they will find you enough work”.  Keeping your eye out for business for your contacts is really good business for yourself.  I have had people tell me that this is manipulation.  No, it is a very nice thing to do, especially if you don’t expect immediate return or a return at all.

What about asking several people at once, like on Linkedin.  Now we get into if this is advertising or solicitation and if that is ethical.  I don’t advise anyone to solicit directly on social media without making sure that they have put all the required State Bar language in their “asking”.  Blanket asking on Social Media is really a no-no.  Specific requests are a bit different.  Same is true with List Serves.  But since they are limited to a special group, such as other attorneys, different rules apply.  If you ever have any questions, call the California State Bar Ethics Hotline.  They don’t give legal advice but are really helpful in locating the up to the minute law in these areas.

If you are really shy about asking, start out by asking the people you know will probably be able to give you what you want.  This might not be business but maybe more on a personal level.  How about asking your husband, wife or friend for a night out on the town going to a specific restaurant or club. Or a movie of your choice.  Some people find this even hard to do.  They would rather let the other person decide what they want to do or what movie they want to see.  Getting your way may take baby steps to achieve.

So, if you didn’t ask last week, ask this week.  This is the only way to find out that it works!!!!